Meeting children where they are at is something we pride ourselves on at Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch. That means we have to be ready for any topic of conversation at any time. These kids are fighting intrusive thoughts and anxiety and the impact of trauma. When they need to talk about something, it is best to talk about it now.…
Kid Stories
"This place is amazing. My son spent four months at the Ranch in Fargo and is a completely different kid. He still struggles but he is more self-motivated and succeeding at Dakota Memorial School. Had I not made this heartbreaking decision in his best interests, I would have lost my son. Thank you for being there!" Lexi Hauge on the Ranch's Facebook page…
At 18 years old, Jules is living with a good family, on track to graduate from high school, and hopeful about her future. But, while she is in a good place in her life now, the road has been difficult. During most of Jules' childhood, her mom was an active alcoholic and married to a man who also drank and was physically violent.…
While children are at Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch, we work hard to connect them with the people who care about them. We can show them that Ranchers care and love them, but it has to go beyond that. It is important for a child healing from trauma to know they are seen, they are thought about, and that there are people in the world who want them to be here!…
There was a knock on my open door. Then, “Good Morning, Joy. Could I please use some of your lotion?” I looked up from my desk and couldn’t help but smile ear-to-ear. Melissa, the lovely young teenage girl in the doorway to my office, smiled back.…
From the outside looking in, Scott seemed to have an idyllic life. A surgeon father, a stay-at-home mother, and eight siblings, built-in friends for life. But as he grew older, things quickly changed, and he began lashing out for attention.…
When asked how he got to Dakota Memorial School (DMS), the on-campus school of Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch, Mason set the tone with his ever-present sense of humor. "Well, it's a bit of a story so make sure you have your crumpets and tea."…
“She likes imagining the characters in the books she reads and thinking about them. She says that it is comforting because she is not worried that they will leave her like people in her life always do.” —Katelyn Hamilton, Ranch Wellness Specialist…
The medical note reads, “Therapist was notified that Kole said thinking about school makes him want to self-harm. He has been expressing increased urges to self-harm with the stress of school starting. Staff was able to pull him aside and provide a check-in process after Kole made the comments. He denies any recent self-harm.”…
Bullying is a soul-stealing, lower than a snake’s belly, painful, demeaning thing to endure. Contrary to some long-debunked sayings, it does not “toughen you up,” “make you stand up for yourself,” or “teach you about the real world.” Rather, it either begets more bullying as the victim looks to find someone weaker and more tender than them, or it results in depression, self-loathing, and suicidal thoughts.…
He always walks into my office with complete confidence. He may be only 13 years old. He may be struggling with severe outbursts of anger. He may have several psychiatric diagnoses brought on by severe trauma. His hair may always be a little messy, and more than once I’ve seen him wipe his nose with the back of his forearm.…
Eli is quiet and seems to be listening intently. Then he gets angry and lashes out, just when the person talking with him thinks things are going well. His anger seems unprovoked and unanticipated. Just a second ago he was a very engaged, calm, super cute 12-year-old. Then, in the blink of an eye, he is frustrated, hitting himself, calling himself dumb. Sometimes he strikes out at those around him.…
When Maliya came to the Ranch at age 16, she was depressed and suicidal. "My childhood was really challenging," Maliya said. "I didn't really have a grip on reality because I was hallucinating a lot from a medication I was on. As far as my family, my stepdad was very abusive and left an emotional scar on my family."…
It’s a “Hug Card.” It looks just like one of those “loyalty cards” you get when you buy 5 sub sandwiches and get a 6th one free. But, it’s for hugs.…
Last month, Eden Keefe, the National President of the Lutheran Women’s Missionary League (LWML), and Kay Kreklau, former National President, toured our Bismarck campus. The LWML has been a tremendous support for the children and work of the Ranch. The individual LWML districts support various needs, and the national organization has supported our Deaconesses, as well as the construction of our Chapel in Bismarck. This is an organization truly filled with faith-centered, loving, Christian women.…
I recently had the honor of taking one of our kids to Dairy Queen to celebrate a particularly good day. I was happy for the chance to spend time with this very talkative child, who I'll call Franklin. Franklin thought it was funny to say that he was “on a Joy ride with Joy.”…
The children who come to the Ranch have often come from chaos and crisis. Many have learned to be hypervigilant and alert for danger or unfulfilled needs. When they come to the Ranch, life is largely consistent and predictable. We serve meals at reliable times, and always have enough food. Therapy, groups, school, and chapel are all dependably scheduled.…
I have written before about the “All About Me," worksheets children complete in the early days of their care at the Ranch. It is a chance for them to tell us about their likes and dislikes and how we can make them feel comfortable. The worksheets are just one of hundreds of tools we use to make sure children’s voices are heard.…
Every fall, Ranch teachers, staff, and kids start preparing for G.R.O.W. Day (God Rewards Our Work), a sale held at our Minot thrift store the Saturday before Mother's Day. For seven months, students plant, nurture, weld, paint, and create art projects, yard games, bedding plants, and hanging flower baskets. They move everything to our Minot thrift store, and in four hours, sell everything they created.…
16-year-old Avalon is a kind, gentle, and talented young woman, despite the challenges that brought her to the Ranch. She was born in Nebraska as the youngest of 12 siblings and moved to North Dakota in 2016. It was a blended family, and second marriages for both her parents, who had each had the pain of losing their first spouse to cancer.…
When a ministry team from Hip Hop & Hope spent the day with the kids at Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch, Dayson made a special connection with keynote speaker Artie Gonzales.…
I’ve written before in these emails about my lack of athletic ability. I am strong, but I do spit out my chewing gum before walking. Safety first! My children don’t seem to care. They all received their dad’s sports gene and can compete after watching a YouTube video of a never-before-seen activity. It’s really irritating. And, they love to drag me along… I am certain as comedic relief.…
On the Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch website, Chaplain Rick Jones, Vice President of Spiritual Life, says, “Hope is a very powerful thing.” His quote is on a page dedicated to our Hope Notes program, where he goes on to explain. "You can be a source of inspiration and encouragement for those who have none. Friends from all over the country can write Hope Notes to our residents—little messages of encouragement to show our children someone cares for them and wants them to succeed.…
"They said, 'No', but she did the work and they said, 'Yes.'" Anne came to Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch at the worst time of her complicated life. Her family was in chaos. A close family member had died by suicide. She, herself, was deeply depressed and suicidal. Her school had told her that at her age and with her lack of progress in school, they would not accept her back. She was in foster care, and only four months from her 18th birthday when she walked in our doors.…
I once had a really good boss who was a big believer in the lessons from “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People,” by Stephen Covey. He infused the seven habits into the workplace, some more successfully than others.…